Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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