Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
