the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
