Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
