Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I don't think brook has ever known best
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
