Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
