One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
