bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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