My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
