Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
