two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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