Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
