i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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