Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
