there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
