Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
