But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
