okay pat passed out under dana's car
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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