8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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