After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
