Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
