like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
