i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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