After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
