I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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