He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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