Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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