Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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