if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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