my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
