I am in a vortex of obligation.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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