I just cut my nipple shaving
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
