i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
