Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
