either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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