THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
