I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
