apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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