Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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