So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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