I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
