it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
