So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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