she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
