weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
