This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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