Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
