its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
