She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
