brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just high enough for therapy.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
