This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
