butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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