So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
