sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
